The Sportsnista

Today, I was that mom who woke up at 4:00am and swore I’d get everything done.

Today, I was that mom who exercised in the living room while trying to cook breakfast.

Today, I was that mom who sighed about the weight and lack of exercise.

Today, I was that mom who had to do one-more-thing before we left for soccer camp.

Today, I was that mom who put on anything that was clean and rigged a dress to kinda fit in order to rush out of the house.

Today, I was that mom who woke up at 4:00am and was still late for 9:00am soccer camp.

Today, I was that mom who would never tell their dad that he was right. Why the f^!k did I pay for soccer camp for a three-year-old!

Today, I was that mom who had zero negotiation and left the playground carrying a crying child over my shoulder. A child who is getting too big to carry over my shoulder while crying.

Today, I was that mom who dragged a screaming toddler to the sneers of onlookers to pay for the banana before I could start shopping.

Today, I was that mom who was all out of f*&Ks for sneering onlookers.

Today, I was that mom who bought a salad for lunch and had a venti Starbucks instead.

Today, I was that mom who answered emails and took a conference call on a day off.

Today, I was that mom who asked a two-year-old are you hungry six times only to be repetitively told “NO, DON’T WANT IT.”

Today, I was that mom who had a back-up plan knowing the two-year-old would start screaming for the damn rice once we left the grocery store.

Today, I was that mom who under no circumstances was going to eat in a restaurant. Lunch was served in car seats.

Today, I was that mom who brushed chewed up carrots, tortillas and mushed cheese out of car seats.

Today, I was that mom who couldn’t fish out the earbuds.

Today, I was that mom who talked on speaker phone through her bra while driving.

Today, I was that mom who sat in the driveway with the air conditioner on for 30 minutes because both kids were sleeping.

Today, I was that mom who noticed her tube dress was on its way to the equator once she got home.

Today, I was that mom who noticed every stitch of under clothes intended to be worn for the day were still folded on the bed.

Today, I was that mom who wondered, “Did I pee today?”

Today, I was that mom who served breakfast, lunch and dinner while not eating a single hot meal.

Today, I was that mom who decided the floor was a plate.

Today, I was that mom who was writing with the laptop on the bathroom floor during tub-tub time.

Today, I was that mom who asked, “Where are your draws?”

Today, I  was that mom. The hot mess I swore I would never be.

Today, I was that mom…

Tomorrow, I’m going to the office!